Father’s Day falls on June 18 this year, and the challenge of figuring out what to get him is again upon me! It’s never simple with my dad. He never really asks for much, and I know that if I ask him outrigh, he’ll tell me “don’t waste your time and money, I don’t want anything.” While this may be true and he genuinely doesn’t want anything, I find myself every year feeling obligated to get him something to commemorate this day just to show him some sort of appreciation for all the time, money, and energy it took to raise me.
Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but it is one that I will always be grateful for. We never really talked much about our feelings or were vulnerable with each other, but I always admired his work ethic and how he loved my mom. Those are things I hope to imitate in my own life as a husband and hopefully a father one day.
This year, Father’s Day will feel just a little different to me. This would have been the first year that I’ve celebrated this day being an expecting dad myself, but that is unfortunately not the case anymore as we suffered a miscarriage a week before Mother’s Day. As much as it pains me, it’s given Father’s Day another layer of meaning to me. My wife and I experienced great loss, but my friends and my family were there to comfort me. My dad, usually mute in a time like this, offered up his condolences and expressed how sorry he was for my loss. Even if he used significantly less words than my mom, he still said it.
I realized that he had spent the last 23 years of my life protecting me in ways that I never truly appreciated. When outside forces tried to bring me pain and hurt, he would be there to block it so efficiently that I didn’t even realize what was happening. Of course things got through the cracks, but there was no problem that he couldn’t fix. He wouldn’t say anything, but he would solemnly face the problem head on and solve it. With this though, he couldn’t do that as much as he wished he could. I know that he would have done anything to fix it, but some problems just can’t be fixed. The love a father has for their children is so great. Even with his lack of words, I can see just how much he loved me. This Father’s Day, I know just what he wants. A hug and an “I love you dad.” Well, that or a new Rolex for his collection, I’m still trying to figure that out!
