When a child in the family has medical, developmental, or behavioral needs that require extra care, parents often find themselves pouring almost all of their time, energy, and resources into that child. While this is natural and necessary, it can leave their other children feeling overlooked, not because they are fragile, but because they become—in many ways—invisible. These siblings are sometimes referred to as “glass children,” a term that describes the experience of being seen through.

Alicia Maples, a former glass child, popularized the phrase in a 2010 TEDx talk, where she explained that “glass” doesn’t mean weak; It means transparent. Many siblings of children with special needs grow up as the “easy ones:” self-sufficient, high-achieving, and rarely demanding attention. “Naturally, we are conditioned not to have any problems,” she says. “We are supposed to be perfect. When someone asks us how we’re doing, the answer is always, ‘I’m doing fine.’”

Even when a glass child seems to manage everything perfectly, the hidden emotional weight of growing up in a high-needs household can quietly shape their childhood. This often means taking on responsibilities far beyond their age and navigating complex family dynamics, sometimes without the support they need.

GROWING UP TOO SOON: COSTS & STRENGTHS
Research shows that growing up as a “glass child” can carry real emotional costs. A 2024 integrated review of 60 studies published in the Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review found consistent patterns of “parentification,” where siblings take on adult responsibilities too early, along with emotional and behavioral struggles. Similarly, a large U.S. study reported that siblings of children with developmental disabilities are more likely than their peers to develop depression and other mental health conditions. The risks are particularly evident in families with children facing a chronic illness. For example, research in pediatric oncology shows that siblings often struggle with anxiety, disrupted schooling, and feelings of isolation.

Despite these challenges, many glass children develop remarkable strengths. They are often empathetic, resilient, and highly capable, traits born from learning how to adapt and care for others. But as they say, every rose has its thorn. In adulthood, former glass children may find themselves overachieving, struggling to set boundaries, or feeling guilty when prioritizing their own needs. The very habits that once kept the family afloat can lead to burnout if left untreated.

THE ROAD TO HEALING
For former glass children, healing often begins with acknowledging the invisible weight they carried while growing up. They may benefit greatly from structured support programs, like sibling groups and counseling, which can improve coping strategies and overall well-being. Beyond peer support, individual therapy can help glass children untangle complicated family dynamics, while also teaching them to voice needs that once felt unacceptable. What many find most transformative is not simply processing the past, but developing the confidence to say: I matter too. Healing is less about erasing old patterns and more about rewriting the narrative of self, from the overlooked sibling to a person whose presence is acknowledged and valued.

FOR PARENTS: SEEING THE INVISIBLE SIBLING
Parents can’t erase the challenges of raising a high-needs child, but they can take steps to ensure their other children feel seen. Experts emphasize three powerful tools: honest communication, dedicated attention, and validation. According to an article in Parents, explaining a sibling’s condition in age-appropriate ways helps reduce confusion and isolation.

Even small rituals of one-on-one time—like a walk after dinner or reading before bed—signal that a child’s needs matter too. When difficult emotions surface, like jealousy or resentment, acknowledging them as normal rather than dismissing them can protect emotional health. Peer support is also critical; programs like Sibshops give siblings the chance to connect with others who share their experiences, breaking the sense of invisibility. In short, while parents may never be able to divide time perfectly, they can ensure that every child in the family grows up knowing they are visible, valued, and loved.

Glass children may grow up in the shadows, but they don’t have to stay there. With the right support, they can reclaim visibility and thrive. For parents, the most powerful step is simple: notice them. In doing so, every child in the family can
grow up knowing they are seen, valued, and loved.