You’ve done your part: You’ve wiped the dirty diapers, listened to the middle school drama, held your baby’s hair as they threw up yet again from the stomach bug. You’ve poured your blood, sweat, tears, and oh so much money into your little baby, cheering them on at all their extracurriculars and helping them to grow into a person you’re proud to post about on Facebook. (Although you like to remind them you’re proud no matter their achievements.) But now that fateful, wonderful, feared day has come and gone: high school graduation. As you assist in packing your kid for college, you may begin to wonder what life after kids in the house is like. Yes, college is exciting for them, but leaving you in that quiet, empty house doesn’t sound so exciting for you. But empty nesting shouldn’t be something to dread! Yes, you will miss having a loud, full house, and you might even miss the 17 pairs of shoes left by the door and the extra loads of laundry you no longer need to do. Nonetheless, you should enter this new season with excitement and anticipation. Here are some practical tips for how to prepare for empty nesting and ways to enjoy the new freedoms found in this season.
FIND A PURPOSE
Let’s not sugarcoat it: No matter how independent your child was before leaving for college, you did a lot for them, which means you’re about to have a whole lot more time on your hands. Nature Medicine’s 2023 study suggests that there are physical and emotional benefits to having a hobby. Those with hobbies showed fewer symptoms of depression and a higher life satisfaction than those without. And if by “hobby” you hear, “find a new project,” like fixing up the back patio like you’ve always wanted but never made the time for… I won’t dissuade you.
Start by taking five minutes to jot down activities that bring you joy or skills you wish you had. Next, research items on that list and see if a local studio or nearby shop has the necessary supplies and/or offers how-to classes. If you chose to stay at home when your kids were in school, consider getting a part-time job doing something you enjoy to add to your schedule as well. Not only will it fill your time and provide structure to your week, it can also be a fun way to meet new people and try something different. If you have aging parents, you may discover that this newfound time and flexibility enables you to devote more time to them as well.
PLAN A VACATION
This might be our favorite suggestion, because who doesn’t love a good vacay?! Now that you’re not tied down to a school schedule (for the first time in, ahem, 12-plus years), you are free to travel anytime in the fall or spring. It doesn’t have to be fancy or two weeks long. The key is to give you something to look forward to that gets you out of the house and puts you in your happy place, helping you dislodge yourself from the emotional rut you might occasionally find yourself in.
MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
When was the last time you really, truly devoted time and energy to your physical, emotional, and mental health? Amid the hustle and bustle of kids, you always come in last… but now that you’ve sent off the last one, you finally have time for you. But “me time” won’t come naturally—remember, you’ve been trained to not think about you, even when there’s throw-up on your shirt or you’re running on four hours of sleep because someone decided to stay out past curfew. There are a few ways you can reconnect with and invest in yourself.
■ Try a new type of exercise: Maybe you’re already working out, but branching out to try a new kind of exercise or a new group fitness class can be a somewhat scary but exciting and rewarding opportunity.
■ Unplug from your phone: I know, I know, the fear of missing a call from your now-college student is legit. However, research exposes that taking time away from your smartphone is good for you, as it “improves sustained attention, mental health, and subjective well-being.” So leave your phone (and Apple watch!) at home and go on a walk when you know your kid is in class.
■ Read a book: People who read for just six minutes experience reduced muscle tension and a slower heart rate, according to University of Sussex researchers. If you’re not a reader, try listening to an audiobook instead.
■ Start a journal: Journaling is not just for middle-school girls. It is a really helpful and important tool for processing real, hard-to-handle emotions.
BE INTENTIONAL WITH FRIENDS
As a parent of kids with busy schedules that often overflowed with social events and extracurriculars, maybe most of your friends are the parents of your kids’ friends. Or, perhaps you had close friends once upon a time… but between work, moves, and life, you grew apart. No matter your “relationship status” with your friends, it’s never too late to be intentional. Plan a weekend college reunion, go see a high school friend, or get together for lunch with those basketball mamas (or dads). You’re allowed to stay friends even though your kids aren’t in town anymore!
CREATE A BUCKET LIST
Whether it’s a fitness goal like running a half-marathon or a delicious dream like baking your first three-layer cake, create a bucket list for yourself. Setting both long- and short-term goals is not only a “fun idea,” it’s essential. Spend time writing down things you aspire to accomplish, places you hope to go, and things you want to do. Dream big! It can be as outlandish as you want, though adding more simple or straight-forward goals are certainly encouraged too.
Congratulations—you’ve made it through every parenting phase, and now your youngest has flown the coop. Trust that you’ve raised them well and embrace the gift of empty nesting. We encourage you to enjoy this exciting new chapter of life!
