Not better, not worse, just different.” This was one of the mantras my mother, who was an elementary school guidance counselor, taught me when I was growing up. It was her way of helping me learn to navigate meeting and dealing with people, especially people who were different from me. Now whether she intended it or not, my mother’s saying also taught me about a very important Christian virtue–humility.

When many people think of humility, they tend to see it as thinking less of themselves or looking down on themselves. To be humble, then, is to go through life flying under the radar and not drawing attention to myself. But this is not at all what humility means. In a 2014 article in Forbes Magazine, Henna Inam writes, “Humor. Humility. Humanity. They all come from the root word ‘humus,’ which is ‘earth’ or ‘ground’ in Latin. Humility, then, means ‘without pretense,’ ‘grounded,’ ‘down-to-earth.’ Rather than meaning ‘less than’ these words convey being real, being authentic, being true to yourself.”  One of my favorite thinkers, Dallas Willard, confirms this when he says, “What does it mean to be humble? To be humble just means that you are realistic
about yourself.”

This reminds me of a famous parable by a rabbi named Rabbi Simcha. “Everyone must have two pockets with a note in each so that he or she can reach into one or the other depending on the need. When feeling lowly and depressed, discouraged or disconsolate, one should reach into the right pocket, and there, find the words: ‘For my sake was the world created.’ But when feeling high and mighty one should reach into the left pocket and find the words: ‘I am but dust and ashes.’”

To be humble is not to look down on yourself. It’s not being less than who you are. Being humble is being realistic about who you are, your strengths and weaknesses. It’s about making room for others’ strengths and weaknesses too. Humility is the great leveler. “Not better, not worse, just different.” And when we realize that, we can finally be at peace with ourselves and with others.

By Rev. Brady Whitton, Senior Pastor of First United Methodist Church of Baton Rouge