I was recently put in a place that I have never been before. You see, I found out before my daughter did that she got detention at school for being late. Don’t even get me started on why she gets the detention when I’m the one who drives her to school each day. I will save that story for another day. I do understand, though, that a lot of those late days are her fault because she always needs ‘one more thing’ as we run out the door, or she forgot she needs something signed. You know the drill.
The point is, I got the email while she was at school, and her mother and I talked about it and made a game plan. When I got home, it was business as usual, and when I felt the time was right, I asked her what was going on because she looked very upset. It only got worse.
She was ashamed, so we went to her room and talked. She cried, explained how she did not want to go and all the reasons why she should not go, and how she will do better. What I did not tell you is that: I had an option to write a note to the school and explain/excuse some of the tardies and then, she would not have to go. This is why I was receiving all the tears and reasons why because I had the ability to “fix it.”
After much debate and crying, I had to break it to her that, yes, I could write the note, but I was not going to do it. As much as it pained me to not take her pain away, I knew I would be starting something that would never end. You see, too many times, we parents don’t want to see our children in pain, and we do everything we can to take it away. But, what we need to always remember is, we are not always going to be there to be able to do that. So, if we keep bailing them out, the only thing they learn is: “Daddy can fix it.” I want my children to know that, yes, Daddy can fix things, but they need to learn and feel a little pain to grow up. So, to all my kids: Do the right thing and make the right choices because I’m not your bail bondsman, and I won’t always be here to “fix it.” ■
