Ok, I admit it. I am not a Pinterest mom. I’ve tried and failed and tried again. It’s just not in the cards for me. My cupcakes are not organic, and my sandwiches still have the crusts on, and I’m lucky if I match when I walk out the door every morning.

I’ve spent years wondering how other moms were always so put together. How did she manage to put an entire face of makeup on and brush both of her kids’ hair? What secret do I not know about? I’ve always blamed it on being a working mom–but some of these supermoms I’ve idolized from afar were working moms, too. And that only added insult to injury.

I never had time to make gluten-free brownies with homemade cream cheese frosting with fresh raspberries for the school bake sale. Every single time I pulled the cookies I bought from the store out of their packaging and placed them onto a serving tray to create the illusion of homemade cookies, I felt guilty. What was I doing wrong? Was I failing at being a mother?

Then one evening, after a particularly hard day, I was cooking supper for my family, and both of my kids came up to me and gave me big hugs and told me they loved me. It was completely random. One minute, they were watching Pokémon, and the next, they were holding me. It was at that moment I knew that I wasn’t failing as a mom. I was falling into the same trap I warn my kids not to fall into.

I was comparing myself to others and using those comparisons to rate my own self-worth. My children aren’t bad kids. In fact, I am consistently told how kind and intelligent both of my children are by their teachers, our family members, and my coworkers. My son is a generous and loving boy with a highly intelligent mind who loves to help others and figure out solutions to the world’s problems. My daughter is a creative and artistic little girl who makes up her own stories and performs for whoever will let her. Both of them are sufficiently fed and clothed. Both of them have healthy friendships and huge hearts. And I’m not really failing at this motherhood thing.

I may not be able to make 100 perfectly frosted cupcakes for every bake sale, and I may be wearing my house slippers at the bus stop most days. I may not cut the crust off of sandwiches, and chicken nuggets is served for supper at least once a week.

I do, however, sit down everyday and help both of my children with their homework. I make it a point to ask my children how they are feeling and have honest conversations with them about the ups and downs of life at their ages. I let them help cook supper. I teach them life skills. In fact, my 12-year-old son knows how to do his own laundry, and my 6-year-old daughter knows how to fold and put away her own clothes. That’s actually a fact that I’m pretty proud of.

So, no–I’m not a Pinterest mom, but I am still a good mom. Tell me, what makes YOU a good mom?