Feeding schedule logs in the hospital with a newborn baby. Lavender baths, followed by story time and then a kiss before bed. After-school snacks, followed by homework and then dance or sports practice. Yes, modern parents have read the books and blogs all about the importance and benefits of routines. But guess what? Children also need time for open-ended, unstructured, joyful, pure PLAY. In fact, the lack of unscheduled time for kids to be kids is such a prominent course of discussion that the phenomena has been given its own terminology: “The Play Gap.” And parents are starting to fight back against the overstructured routines! Candy Jones, the director of learning innovation at Knock Knock Children’s Museum notes: “Imaginative play serves a vital role in children’s healthy development by giving them the freedom to think, create, and solve problems independently.”
CAUSES OF THE PLAY GAP
Educational Excellence. Whether it is kindergarten, college, or careers, academic pressures urge kids to always be ready…or to even be ahead of the game. This means hours spent studying, working with tutors, and taking on resume-building opportunities.
Extracurriculars have become “extra.” Even when it comes to modern youth extracurriculars, those, too, have undergone a seemingly generational shift of becoming more competitive. Hours of practices, workouts, and endless tournaments and competitions don’t take the fun away from extracurriculars, but it definitely adds more structure and pressure to the experiences.
Safety Concerns. Raised to have “stranger danger” themselves, modern parents were always taught to be cautious and safe. And in raising their own kids, if they are busy, and off the streets… they probably aren’t getting into trouble!
Increased Time in a Virtual World. When busy kids have time to decompress, they may choose to sit behind a screen for a bit and just scroll. It requires little effort, thought, planning, or energy, but it still gives that little dopamine boost. Instead of riding a bike over to see a friend to hang out, it is much easier for friends to check in virtually.
It must be said: The cause of the play gap is not bad parenting. In a society that equates busy and active with successful (and safe), parents are simply trying to meet the status quo and set their kids up for adulthood. Luckily, as a parent, knowing the causes of the play gap is one of the first steps of fighting its effects.
EFFECTS OF THE PLAY GAP
Boredom breeds creativity. While being “bored” has a negative connotation, the outcome of boredom is all positive. It takes both motivation and innovation to fill the void of activity when boredom strikes. Candy Jones reiterates this idea, “Open-ended play encourages children to make their own choices, explore ideas, and express their feelings.”
Play gives children the chance to invent, imagine, solve their own problems, and entertain themselves. Always being told where to go and what to do, kids lose the ability to make their own decisions and become more independent. Experiencing boredom and discovering play isn’t taking a break from learning—it is learning.
Through play, children get to practice social-emotional skills like negotiating, handling conflict, and so much more. Of course when the fun kicks in, they also experience decreased anxiety and emotional regulation. Where routines help children feel safe, play pushes them to grow!
FIGHT BACK; PLAY!
Check the busy family schedule and make time for some deconstructing. Whether reducing the amount of activities each week, adding a “do nothing” day or reclaiming downtime that turned into screen time, families can make play a priority. “By setting aside time and space for free play and providing an array of open-ended materials, parents can promote the growth of confident, curious children who can think creatively and independently,” notes Jones.
Play doesn’t have to be an adult-led adventure, and parents don’t have to step in to cure the boredom. Kids may experience confusion at first with a “now what?” look of fear in their eyes. Providing those open-ended toys for younger children can help lead the way to play. Jones expertly continues, “As children build with blocks, invent stories, or turn everyday items like boxes or sofa cushions into forts and castles, they actively engage their imagination, reasoning, and creativity.” Instead of giving direct instructions, parents can spark creativity with leading questions to help get the creative juices flowing.
Tweens and teens need to play, too! Based on a child’s interests, play could look like: pick-up, no-pressure sports with friends, game nights with friends including escape rooms, drawing, photography, fashion design, cooking or baking, making music, hiking, and more. Any activity that gives joy and sparks creativity can fit the bill for play. Encourage new hobbies for enjoyment, not assessment, grades, ranks, or trophies!
And adults! Avoid burn-out and spark your own joy, too. Play is NOT just for kids. The play gap didn’t appear overnight, and it won’t disappear overnight. But every unscheduled afternoon and scheduled boredom session is an invitation to imagine and create. When it comes to play, practice makes perfect, so get out there with the family and have some fun!
