Advertisement

The New Birthday Plan


The New Birthday Plan

By Lela Davidson

Dear Son:

I’m writing to tell you about an exciting change we’ll be making in regard to my birthday this year. Because this is a big birthday year for me (rhymes with shorty), and because you’re such a big boy now, and frankly because I’m a little worn out with the whole kids’ birthday scene, we’re going to do things a little differently this year. Since I spent my time planning, executing, and cleaning up after your birthday party, you’re going to do all that for my birthday. Sounds like fun, right?

First you’re going to help me make a list of all my very best friends. Don’t worry, the guest list won’t get out of hand. You know how I always limit the number of guests at your parties to your age? Same deal. I’ll only be inviting forty friends. Because my friends are slightly geographically diverse, transporting them all to the party could be tricky. But you’ll figure it out. Just like Daddy and I always find a way to shuttle your friends around.
I promise my pals will smell better. Most of them, anyway.

Aren’t you just dying to know the theme for my party? You know how you’re always begging for pizza parties and laser tag parties and parties where you can eat pizza while riding go-carts and playing laser tag in space? I want a cool party too. That’s why I’ll be going to a spa with my forty friends. (I have NO idea how much all this will cost, but you might want to start saving your allowance now.)

When you think about it, this spa idea is a pretty good deal for you because it frees you from cooking a bunch of food we might very well a) eat without tasting, b) throw at each other, or c) shove down our throats so fast it makes us sick enough to vomit on the good carpet.

After the party, of course I’ll expect you to hound me night and day until I write each and every last thank you note. You’ll also need to keep track of my gifts and write down exactly how to word my gratitude to each of my guests.

Finally, when I get bored with all my presents—like a week later—I’m going to be really crabby and whiny. I may refuse to do ordinary tasks like make your dinner and wash your underwear. Don’t take this personally. After all, you’re the one spoiling me rotten! I’m really excited about this year’s birthday plans and so proud of you, my grownup little boy!

Love,

Mommy

Be the first to review this item!


Bookmark this

03 Jun 2016


By Lela Davidson

Recent Articles more articles

Joy's Summer Reads

in Joy Holden, Turn the Page

The sun is shining. The waves are crashing. The afternoon showers are pouring. We are getting to those sweaty, humid days when our shirts get damp just walking to the car. This means pool days with our kids or beach days with our families. Don’t we a

Joyful Reads from May 2022

in Joy Holden, Turn the Page

Hello! I’m Joy, and I love to read. I consider it my greatest talent and favorite hobby. Another one of my preferred pastimes is recommending books to anyone who is the least bit curious. Seriously. I am always volunteering book recs to people near m

Hunter Kinchen

in Mom or Dad Next Door

Hunter Kinchen loves to play tennis and have fun with his three children, but, more than anything, he loves watching his children take on something new. He enjoys being silly with his children, and while he describes himself as “fun,” he says he can

Summer is Back

in A Day in the Life of Dad

Well, it’s official–it’s hot as you-know-what. The little ones are out of school, we are looking for things to do, and that can only mean one thing: Summer is here, and we have about three months left to go.

Advertisement
Newsletter