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Jessica
Nigeria
Not a nice feeling

This favouritism Weighs down the child. Affects the child mentally. Also a lot of anger and hostility is always expressed.

January 2021

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GetARaze
Detroit
It Causes Lifetime Issues

Sadly, favoritism predisposes people to always falling short of the mark as an adult. I was the red-haired step child and now, as an adult, no matter how much I succeed at work, I am always overlooked and others achieve the award who have not earned it.

December 2020

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Teresa
Knoxville
So true.

I am thankful to read this. Puts a bit more perspective on my life challenges. Trust me folks... i am in my 50's and this negatively does not leave you once you have been branded as the "not perfect" child. Living in the dark, behind the shadows for years not really knowing what was wrong but this article was spot on. Although brought tears to my eyes, also brought a dose of reality to my face. Seek professional help all that has been exposed to this. Soon as COVID is over (if ever) will seek some help myself. It will never leave you.

December 2020

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Anju Pillai
Ahmedabad Gujarat India
I am still going through

Its a real trauma when you go through this everyday. I am a victim.I am married and have a daughter but still the same is carried over with her too. Constant negligence and ignorance makes it tough. Main results are lack of confidence and mainly anger and anxiety. I have started being angry on each and every situation. But sometimes you get tougher due to the same to handle the situations elsewhere. Sometimes you get in to trouble due to the this. You know that you won't get any kind of help from them and you have to handle it by yourself. Although we love them but sometimes we are out of control.

December 2020

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Sadie Gunter
oak harbor
Wow

Thank you. Can not wait to join the military (I am not the favorite) I have been struggling with depression and getting therapy luckily but I cannot wait for this year to be over so I can move out (last year of high school yay).

November 2020

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Sadie
oak harbor
Wow

I have been struggling especially this past year with not being enough for my mom and constantly getting in trouble for things my sister did. For years I have known my sister was the favorite but I still live on. This year will be my last in high school and once i graduate I`m joining the military so I can be far away from her

November 2020

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jane
Colorado
Total realization

As the only girl and eldest with two younger brothers, we were raised very differently. My parents prefer boys, unintentional sexism. I know this, but I never considered that it made me less of a favorite. As children, performance in sports drove attention. Decades later, my brothers have more financial help including not having student loans, help with home downpayments, free cars, and cell phone plans. I, however, am fiercely independent. I push people out, refuse help, would never take a dollar. It's an odd dynamic that I still see in my mid 30s. I become angry with my brothers for taking so much from my parents, even though I choose to never take assistance even when offered. Honestly, I realize this comment is totally useless, personal, and pretty selfish (my life is good, and I am really successful- no real complaints) but I wanted to tell somebody... whew!

November 2020

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Kami Jenkins
Ellerbe
Wonderful

I totally agree with these posts. I am a firstborn and I identify with almost all of what was said in the article and by other siblings and firstborn.

October 2020

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Audrey
CO
Realization

I’m the oldest child and I’ve always felt neglected. My mom does stuff for me but not nearly as much as my younger sister. I always feel selfish saying that but that’s how I’ve always felt. My younger sister is the middle child and she wants to be just like my mom which is why she’s the favorite. Every opinion my mom has she has it too, anything my mom says she does too. My mom and I have never seen eye to eye so we fight a lot. Every time we do and I bring up something about feeling this way she yells at me and says “It’s all about Audrey all the time.” This has happened since I was 4. I’ve talked to my younger sister (the favorite) about it and she always looks at me like I’m crazy because she can’t believe her perfect mother would do a thing like that. Over the years I have stopped opening up to my mom and my sister or really anybody but my therapist completely. I’m scared now that I’m bothering people with my problems and feel like I’m a burden. As the article said I have a feeling of strong independence. I don’t think I need anyone. I’m counting down the days till I can move out. I liked this article because it helped assure what I’ve felt over these last years and stop trying to question myself because of what my mother and sister say.

September 2020

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“Milacentbystander”
It’s true.

I’m the oldest of 6. My 1st brother got most of the attention after he was born. He was a trouble maker, and since I was mostly quiet my mom thought I didn’t need a lot of attention. I felt abandoned since my mom and my brothers father obviously loved him. It didn’t feel like I belonged in the picture since my dad was rarely there either. I got less and less attention from both parents. The only ones that gave me attention were my grandparents. Mom then had child after child and no matter how many achievements and good grades I gained from school there was no more time for me. I grew older and more independent. But I also isolated myself from my family Bc I didn’t want to feel hurt anymore. I obediently followed my mom but in the end it was for nothing. While my brother was allowed to have relationships at a young age I was told no. He was able to try new things and I was scolded when I did. He could loose his virginity but I was forbidden to. At his age I was basically chained to my “home” watching the younger ones while my mom worked but he could hang with his friends anytime. If I was feeling depressed I was told that others had it harder and to stop complaining but when my brother was feeling sad and walked out of the house she would chase him and try to make him feel better. There was one time where I Fell for a boy and when I told her she tore our friendship apart thinking she did the right thing until 6 years later she realized I still had feelings for him but it was already to late. My first potential relationship was washed down the drain and I had to watch him from afar. 18 years and for some reason I am reluctant to get into my first relationship. It’s like I’m chained to her every word. I feel like I can’t do anything without her permission even though I’m an adult now. Sometimes I wonder if I’m seeking her approval.

August 2020

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