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Amanda
Paris
Parental Favoritism

I totally relate to this, even though I keep trying to deny it happening or see it from their point of view, I still fail to do so. My sister is 3 years younger than me, and honestly, since day one, she definitely was my parents', or at least my mum's favorite. Since the day she was born, she gets everything she ever asks for no matter what it is, and I'm not saying that my parents never get me anything because they do, but no way near the extent they go for her happiness. She never does even the barest minimum, and yet gets everything she wants, no matter how ridiculous it is. Phones, tv, expensive shoes and clothing, you name it, she already has it. We may have similar things, but for example when I was her age in a certain year, if there is a school trip, my parents would say no and it wasn't even up for discussion, but then she goes on to the same trip, years later when she's younger than me when I first asked. And it isn't all materialistic and finance-related, my sister for the last whole year became violent with me, always picking up fights even though i try not to hit at her at all or just keep my power to the minimum, whereas she hits with her full power, and as expected, total ignorance from my mum's side. Another situation is that she's been bluntly saying all the time that she's my mum's "Favorite daughter" I keep playing it off and laughing as if it doesn't even matter whereas this stabs me right in the heart, I brought it up to my mum and she just brushed it off saying that it means nothing to her and that it isn't true and whatnot. She NEVER defended me whenever this happens, but when anything merely touches her "favorite daughter" the lengths she'll go through to ensure everything is perfect, it's just too much to handle anymore. Once I talked to my dad about the whole ordeal and he talked to them and stood up for me, that was 3 months ago, and it's fair to say that I'm the laughing stock now in the house and that it's such an amusing story for my sister and mum to retell and joke about every single day. All of this as well as the added stress of exams and getting grades to get into college, my breaking point is yesterday. I have no idea what to do.

July 2021

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Amanda
Paris
Parental Favoritism

I totally relate to this, even though I keep trying to deny it happening or see it from their point of view, I still fail to do so. My sister is 3 years younger than me, and honestly, since day one, she definitely was my parents', or at least my mum's favorite. Since the day she was born, she gets everything she ever asks for no matter what it is, and I'm not saying that my parents never get me anything because they do, but no way near the extent they go for her happiness. She never does even the barest minimum, and yet gets everything she wants, no matter how ridiculous it is. Phones, tv, expensive shoes and clothing, you name it, she already has it. We may have similar things, but for example when I was her age in a certain year, if there is a school trip, my parents would say no and it wasn't even up for discussion, but then she goes on to the same trip, years later when she's younger than me when I first asked. And it isn't all materialistic and finance-related, my sister for the last whole year became violent with me, always picking up fights even though i try not to hit at her at all or just keep my power to the minimum, whereas she hits with her full power, and as expected, total ignorance from my mum's side. Another situation is that she's been bluntly saying all the time that she's my mum's "Favorite daughter" I keep playing it off and laughing as if it doesn't even matter whereas this stabs me right in the heart, I brought it up to my mum and she just brushed it off saying that it means nothing to her and that it isn't true and whatnot. She NEVER defended me whenever this happens, but when anything merely touches her "favorite daughter" the lengths she'll go through to ensure everything is perfect, it's just too much to handle anymore. Once I talked to my dad about the whole ordeal and he talked to them and stood up for me, that was 3 months ago, and it's fair to say that I'm the laughing stock now in the house and that it's such an amusing story for my sister and mum to retell and joke about every single day. All of this as well as the added stress of exams and getting grades to get into college, my breaking point is yesterday. I have no idea what to do.

July 2021

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Cleo
Singapore
It hurts sometimes

My sisters are very beautiful while I've always been the odd one, the ugly one in other words. My dad treated us equally, but it was always my mum. She favors my sisters, especially my second sister. Sometimes I wonder whether it is because my second sister is the prettiest, and it only confirmed my suspicions when my mum told me that just looking at me made her disgusted. I've learnt to accept the way things are. Learnt to accept how shallow and unworthy of my love my mum is and that it was never about me, but her. I can't say I'm not hurt at all, because it still does. But at the end of the day, what more can I do?

May 2021

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Vafira
Kerala, India
Experienced

Well being the non favoured one did affect me. In the beginning I use to think it's all in my head n something is wrong with me now I have jzz coped up with whole situation. But am independent confident and have a lot of really good friends and older friends. Surely nothing have filled the void this has created I hope. It will at some point

May 2021

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Anonymous
Malaysia
Favouritism

I’m the youngest and probably the unplanned baby. My mom has always favoured my older sisters since young. I didn’t feel it much as I was closer to my dad but over time it got worse, I was always blamed for their mistakes, I was the black sheep in the family where my mom vents out her anger to me all the time. I used to question her about the unfair treatment when I was younger but I was yelled and was told trying to break the family. This has caused me depression since young and I always felt never good enough. Today I’m in my 30’s, married to a lovely man and blessed with a beautiful baby, the favouritism still exist. I’ve stopped questioning and I chose to live far away from my family. I realized some things will never change so I’ve given up trying to please my mom because she only looks for me when she needs help. I promised to myself that I won’t treat my children the same way in the future. It sucks being unwanted and unloved.

May 2021

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Yashi Gupta
Gurugram Haryana
Parental Favouritism

Today I am 15 years old and at the time when I realized the favoritism towards my brother, I was just 8 years old girl. My parents especially my mother loves my younger brother more than me. When I realized that my mother loves my brother far more than me then I blamed myself for doing something bad and then I make all the hard work to regain my parent's love. But when I saw my hard work is not beneficiating me I started making distances from them. There are times when I get exhausted from favoritism of my mother and in that angry mood I started telling my feelings, but what happened, after all, that was just scolding and yelling at me to thinking such nonsense, thinking partiality and creating a fuss at home. But telling you all truthfully my mother was the one who started all these. She always told me that my brother has lots of care and love for her but I don't have. I am selfish and I have too much ego that in future I will destroy every other house where I will be living. I was so hurt by these words and determined not to be affected by them. Favoritism is the most disastrous mental trauma and can affect one's life with the career and you will never forget the times when your parents do so. I still remember those moments of favoritism that hurt me and thinks about suiciding Thank you for this website which shows the correct aspects of favoritism

May 2021

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M
Toronto
Heartbreaking but unfortunately true

I hate to admit it but favoritism is deadly and shouldn't be considered normal. My mother loves my older brother way more than she loves me. It's like she's blind and can't see the bad things my brother does (making fun of me, or hurting my feelings) but when I yell once or confront him, she automatically can see and tells me to stop as if I'm the bad person. It's so hard to talk to my brother about it because he disagrees and just thinks I'm crazy. It happens when they both make fun of me and think they're trying to discipline me but I just get embarrassed more and feel as if no one understands me. I feel so alone because of favoritism and people it's a normal phase. It's not and should never be.

April 2021

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Ratie Ted
I haven't recovered from the favouritism

I got my first heart break from my dad as a little girl, to this date as a young woman I still don't understand how it happens for me to love someone so much but he cant reciprocate it yet i see him doing it perfectly on my big sister, overtime i had to protect myself by learning that its actually okay to love your family from a distance, rather than being hurt by living closely to them.

March 2021

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Jane Doe
good read

I am 23 years old and all I can say is that I hate my younger brother.

March 2021

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Jacki Marie
Ypsilanti, MI
This is so true that it hurts

I also experienced "parental favoritism" growing up. I'm only older by 1 year and 5 months, but it was painfully obvious. I always did my best to ignore it and to convince myself I was wrong.... I wasn't. Now that I'm in my 30's, I feel the emotional and mental damage it really did cause. I fear rejection, I fear trust, I'm afraid to open my heart to anyone. I thought it was a consequence of bad relationships with men. Never thought it was because of my relationship with my mother. I was definitely daddy's little girl, but when he died in 2011, I became no one's little girl anymore. Parents say they don't favor or that they don't mean to. It's unavoidable and can't be argued. Mom's usually favor their boys. (First born or baby)... I've watched it in different families and my own, most of my life. There is always a favorite. If you don't think so, then the favorite is probably you. It is heartbreaking

February 2021

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